Confrontation is a move done by the brave-hearted

If the readers out there followed my post last night, here's the continuation (and conclusion) of last night's rant.

So here it goes....

The pain inside is something that starts to simmer down, but would eventually leave a big emotional scar, if left untreated. In the world of Surgery, a wound that is healed by 3rd Intention usually leaves out an unrepairable scar, because such wound healing is done only by letting what was injured heal on its own.

What am I driving at this point?

If applied to reality, this applies to how friendships may be scarred by issues that are left unresolved. If nothing is done, and this is left alone to heal by itself, such issues may leave a very deep dent in someone's heart: a scar that is sure fire unlikely to heal and return back to its original integrity.

Last night, after I was informed of the pain that was delivered to me, and after I blogged about what had happened, my kind self wouldn't keep the pain all alone. I texted the involved person, asking him/her if I could get my books from his/her place by lunch time. Unknowingly to that person, when he/she called me after I texted, my voice was not of its lively self: my voice was of a person who was already starting to doubt if ever my friendship with this person had any purpose at all.

That was a move that I started to know that person's side of the story.

A while ago, I went back to school and went to the dorm of my friend. As expected, I got the books and other stuff from him/her. While I was at his/her place, eating Pancit Canton served by this person to me because I was so famished, I was already itching to tell that person the pain that was digging right through my senses. By then, the scars were already forming, but not yet deep, as like in Surgery, not all deep scars happen overnight. While I was slightly bantering my frustrations at him/her, he/she told me that we should look for another place to talk about what I wanted to say. It came to me that my friend also had his/her share of frustrations to rant, as well.

We went down to a yogurt shop just around the dorm. As we sat down, the rants started to fly in. I listened well to the person's side of the story, trying to balance what I learned the night before and what was being told to me right at that moment. It pains me to hear that even that person also shared the same trouble as I had. He/she clarified to me what I was told about rumors circulating about me, and reiterated that it wasn't his/her intention nor purpose to say such words. In fact, that person admitted so many things that I believed more than what was told to me prior. After he/she ranted his/her frustrations at me, I started to say everything that I wanted to tell. I clarified to that person that a rumor that I was a ***** back in High School is true (A separate blog will be allotted for that). I said that my painful experience back in HS was the reason for my personality and kind ways. I also verified if that person said painful remarks about me towards others by saying about his/her accusations against me. I admitted to that person that I was really pained and disheartened, and had actually started to lose trust on that person. He/she was surprised (I think) to have heard such remark from me, but I had to be honest and sincere. I never wanted to lose such a friendship that is just one-of-a-kind. That person's reply to all of my rants were simple yet concise, and those are such details that I will not anymore divulge. The succeeding story is just between the two of us.

In the end, we both made up for all of what has happened. It would suck, like what he/she said last summer, if our friendship were to end unpleasantly. I believe in the same notion as well, it was not in my right mind to let such good friendship lay to waste. What happened and transpired a while ago was a move not usually done by the weak and faint-hearted. This was a move that entails bravery, honesty, truthfulness, and sheer guts. What happened was it was a confrontation, a move not appreciated by many.

Confrontation is like a double-edged sword: it may unload all the painful burden inside, but at the same time, it may hurt the person on the other line. It's a matter of good conscience, trust, and care for others that drives a person to confront another, because neither the both of them would want to see their friendship destroyed by inappropriate words and ideas. Confronting issues and resolving them immediately mends the wounds that might have been caused by these which might have circulated within the bounds of society: it is a move that clears the mind and enforces God's gift of consideration and love towards another, to forgive and forget what was done, and start another one in a clean slate.

Look at what issues do to people. These issues had almost destroyed a friendship that revolved around happiness, camaraderie, and helping. I couldn't stand and bear the fact that, old and mature as we may be, such immature actions are still rampant and deceiving in the eyes of the weak and kind-hearted. Yes, the world can be stressful most of the time, but it is inappropriate to live within the circle of gossip and mischief. Did God tell us through the Bible that gossiping is a grave sin, and that talking back at others is a mistake that doesn't go unpunished? The problem in today's urban society is that lives are lived through the intimacies of the flesh, instead of balancing these with the Good Teachings that were taught to us in church or in school. Too bad that people tend to fight around issues which might have been exaggerated or sugarcoated, just for the fun of seeing another one hurt and frown. It sickens me that such immaturity lives among most of people, if not everyone. I have seen such immaturity in my own Medicine class, and now I'm seeing it in a batch that was lower than me. What's worse, the ghosts of my HS past are getting back at me. Akala ko ok na yung kaklase ko na isa na siguro may sinasabing masama tungkol sakin, ay! Di pa pala. Haha!

That friend of mine shared my sentiment that it's the work of the Devil that brings man to his weakness of not understanding the opposite, but instead live in the notion of pertinent negatives. Now, I know why God made me experience such challenge. It wasn't just to let me think straight, but to let me consider what might happen if issues over the truth prevail, and nothing is to be done to fix such dilemma. I have another reason to thank God for letting me grab this opportunity to talk to that person and say straightforward my hurts and pains. 

It is really true that the bad thing about being too kind is that not all kindness is exchanged with kindness in return. What is more true is that unhealed wounds also cause irreparable scars to remain. The best truth is that swift moves of confrontation and resolution heal wounds that might have started to mend through scarring.

As a firm warning to anyone entering Medical school: never, ever forget to be very vigilant around your surroundings. Med school is so much filled with stress. The best way to combat it is to pray to God. If we do not rely on God's guidance, our lives will be devoured in the mouth of evil, and within that evil, comes the notion of bad issues, gossip, and mischievous scandals inappropriate of Doctors like us.

I thank that person for giving me that personal time to talk about everything that has transpired. Truly, Med school and most of the people around it really do weird things. Now that we're back to where it was, I now take this time to post this blog and let the whole blogging world to know that confronting issues are not bad: they make things better. I'm happy that it's summer again. It was just like last year when we had no problems at all, not thinking about Med and stress. It was all about anything under the sun, anything that did not make anyone frown or feel forlorn.

Confrontation is a move done by the brave-hearted. Only the weak never open their hearts and minds to the reality of things because they are scared to be hurt by a confrontational episode.